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Local baby born ready


New parents Reginald and Samantha Gould were pleasantly surprised late Saturday evening when, after the birth of their son, the obstetrician revealed that their eight and half pound boy was born ready.

According to doctors at Prentice Women’s Hospital in Chicago, little Trevor Gould was born with a strange case of perpetual preparedness, known medically as congenital hetoimosis, a condition that will likely keep him on the ball for the remainder of his life.

Dr. Cynthia Hooks, the parents’ obstetrician and a maternal fetal medicine specialist at Northwestern Memorial Hospital, said Samantha Gould went into labor one month early and yet their newborn infant was delivered at full term size and development.

“It was touch and go there for a while and no one was sure how he would do, but when he came out, slapped his own rear and set about trying to tie off his own umbilical cord, I knew instantly that he was raring to go,” Hooks said. “We have no doubt that this little guy will be fully prepared to handle anything life throws at him.”

Christopher Hubbard, a Northwestern Medical University child psychologist, has been evaluating the Gould’s new infant for the last three days and confirmed that Trevor has congenital hetoimosis. Hubbard says the condition, commonly known as being ‘born ready’, is very rare and gives the afflicted an increased capability to accomplish most everything, allowing them to live immensely successful lives.

“I’m just looking forward to see what greatness will be in store for him. There really is nothing that will get in his way,” Hubbard said. “If Trevor doesn’t invent the next alternative energy source, take his team to the Super Bowl, or lead an oppressed people to freedom I’d be very surprised.”

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