PHNOM PENH — Stumbling across the photo of his twin brother who died more than three decades ago was the last thing former Khmer Rouge fighter Uch Sokhon expected on a visit to Cambodia's genocide museum.
"I feel shocked," the 53-year-old said, gently wiping the dusty glass frame holding a black-and-white image of his brother, immortalised at the age of 20. "But it was a long time ago."
The picture is one of hundreds of mugshots of condemned prisoners on display at Tuol Sleng prison in Phnom Penh. Now a genocide museum, it was at the centre of the Khmer Rouge security apparatus between 1975 and 1979.
Some 15,000 inmates, including women and children, lost their lives and torture was routinely used to extract confessions from terrified prisoners at the facility, also known as S-21.
Sokhon and some 300 other people, mainly former Khmer Rouge supporters and fighters, recently travelled all night on buses from the northwestern Khmer Rouge stronghold of Pailin to tour the prison for the first time.
Pailin was one of the final refuges of the brutal regime, which was driven from power in 1979. Soldiers and officials fled to the remote region to re-group and try to battle the new government
The trip was organised by the UN-backed war crimes court -- which was set up in 2006 to bring ex-regime leaders to justice -- and aims to increase awareness among Cambodians about the ongoing trials.
Confronting victims as well as former soldiers and cadres with the jail and the court's work is a key part of bringing closure to the past, a court spokesman said.
"We believe it is easier for people to understand the mission of the tribunal when they see Tuol Sleng and the court with their own eyes," Lars Olsen said.
Former Tuol Sleng prison chief Kaing Guek Eav, better known as Duch, was the first to face justice at the UN-backed court.
In a landmark ruling in July, the tribunal sentenced him 30 years in jail, though the case is now under appeal.
Walking past the tiny cells that held some of the prisoners, including perhaps his own brother, and after inspecting the torture implements on display, Sokhon says he regrets his own past actions.
"I feel remorse and pain because I also used to be a fighter for Democratic Kampuchea (the Khmer Rouge)," said the teary-eyed civil servant.
Sokhon said he and his identical twin, Sokhan, both joined the hardline communist movement in 1971 aged just 15 because it was the only way to survive.
Dedicated fighters, they quickly rose through the ranks to become mid-level military commanders.
But the regime turned against Sokhan when he tried to help a relative who had caused a minor accident in February 1976.
Sokhon had left the keys in the ignition of a bulldozer he had been using to dig irrigation channels, when his cousin Thein decided to take it for a ride.
He accidentally turned the vehicle over -- an arrestable offence in the eyes of the Khmer Rouge.
Sokhon told his senior cadres his cousin was to blame for the incident, but when his twin heard the news he insisted on protecting their relative.
"I warned my brother not to help our cousin otherwise he would lose his position and be arrested," Sokhon said. "But he said he must help him.
"A few days later I was told that my brother was arrested... And I knew he had been sent to Tuol Sleng."
Despite his brother's detainment, Sokhon continued to fight for the Khmer Rouge -- even after Vietnamese forces ousted them from the capital in 1979.
He lost his right eye in 1989 when a grenade landed near him during a fight against government troops, and there are still more than 20 pieces of shrapnel lodged in his body.
After years of combat, Sokhon defected to the government in 1996 alongside the regime's foreign minister Ieng Sary. Two years later, the civil war ended.
"Now, I hate the regime very much. I am glad that the regime leaders are standing trial," he said.
Up to two million people died from starvation, overwork and execution during the four-year rule of the Khmer Rouge, led by "Brother Number One" Pol Pot, who died in 1998.
The four most senior surviving regime leaders -- including Ieng Sary -- are due to face trial next year for war crimes, crimes against humanity and genocide for their part in Cambodia's "Killing Fields" era.
Cambodian and international prosecutors have disagreed on whether to pursue more suspects and Prime Minister Hun Sen told UN chief Ban Ki-moon last month that a third case was "not allowed" because it could spark renewed civil war.
Sokhon said his own personal journey to face the past was over.
"I don't want to remember. I want it to end here. But that does not mean I still support the Khmer Rouge," he said.
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