clouda9's 2008 Giant Squid Awards Speech
Last edited January 2, 2009
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Menopause: You Need Some Laughter!
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clouda9's Acceptance Speech for the Best Humor Lens:

Thank you! Oh! Thank you! I can hardly breathe! I feel so coked-up! And this statue - it's so full of chocolate! Oh, thank you again! I just want everyone to secretly suspect that even in my wildest hallucinations, I never would have fantasized that this could ever validate my mediocrity. And to the other super-amazing nominees, I want each of you to know how totally mega-pumped your fake smiles makes me feel right now!

You know when they first told me I was nominated, I just had to take a Xanax and laugh about how freakish my experiences have been. I guess it all just makes me feel kinda numb

You know, there are so many back-stabbing little people to thank! First off though, I want to pay off the senile old bats of the Academy, who looked deep within their lint-encrusted navels before giving me this fantastic award! Also, I want to thank my guru, for being such a powerful force in my contract negotiations. And to the hooker with the heart of gold, who taught me to take life by the balls. And finally, to all the personal assistants I fired - I couldn't have done it without you!

Thank you America, and good night!

 
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