everything I never knew I always wanted 

If the mute is on and noone hears the Carswellian, does he really exist?  ~Bruce 

Any problem caused by a Tank can be solved with a Tank. ~Rich

The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots.  ~Thomas Jefferson

When I was little I prayed every night for a new bike.  Then I realized how god worked, stole one, and prayed for forgiveness.  ~Unknown

I love the big ones. ~Mike K

Diversity Day... yeah, I'd like to see us erase a hundred years of racism in one hour. ~Michael

You need only 2 tools. WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, 
use WD-40. If it moves and it shouldn't, use the tape. 

Don't force it; get a larger hammer 

I Don't know how to teach this class. ~Etlinger 

I FULLY expect problems with this class. ~Kern 

you can go to other countries where the penetration is less. ~Adams 

I remember my college days, fondling... ~Richmond 

Does anyone have Redi-Whip in a can? For those romantic moments? ~Richmond 

  I am not paranoid its just that all these people are after me! ~Poularious

Don't goto Dicks.com. Its not the clothing store! ~Reek 

Its a little early for beer...Down it quickly! ~Poularious

Friends let each other touch their private parts ~Adams 

Let me just give you a quickie here... ~Reek 

I call it my tickle file... ~Rechylmier 

I have two Pee in two places. ~Poularious 

You can't go from 0-60 in 3 days. ~Poularious 

Dr Heliotis has provided a peta file for you to use...
what?... ok, this peta file... oh geez... ~Adams

Czernikowski: what's your name sir?
Student: John
Czernikowski: Siker??????
Student: John! 

Don't pervert when you convert. ~Czernikowski 

Professor Lutz... what diet program are you on? ~Vallino 

Practice safe Construction. ~Lutz 

now lets say we have a force tugging on a spring. ok that force is you. Well just say the whole force is F you. ~Anderson 

you don't have to tell me the president of the company is higher than the bathroom attendant of the company. I know that. ~D S Hart 

i dont know how you can have a fraudulant noble trade. ~Lutz 

I guess size does matter...<<looks down>>...in more ways than one. ~Szewczak 

When we make our groups, I want to try mix the dumb people with the smart people. ~Dr. Vegso

Don't Be A Twit (to Alonso). ~Beltz 

So it's easy to understand and is understandable.  ~Kristy

You only get a few words like... you know... whatever they said in telegrams. ~Gregorio 

I will add this to the stuff I have started for this!  ~Dawn 

open up all the worms and we'll go fishin. ~Karl S

Bruce: You don't sound very enthusiastic today, Tony.
Tony: It's Tuesday, what can I say?

Sometimes you need your head. ~Mike J

I don't want you to hurt your head.  ~Laura

A little weird is OK, totally weird is not.  ~Rita

The best we can take away is a few takeaways.  ~Kim

It's been real.  It's been nice, but it hasn't been real nice. ~Kim

I'm not looking for answers. ~Tony

You didn't hear my brain. ~Kim

I'm not sure if it is a male or female. ~Tony

Oh so this will be its own little mini-project. ~Charlie

This stylesheet is like nothingcan you  we've ever seen before.  ~Charlie 

They're not on the phone so we don't care what they think. ~Bruce

Right. ~Rita

No Rita, that was a joke. ~Bruce

I always find that FN looks a little 'old school.' ~Bruce

Talk to Nick, he's the Greasemonkey Master.  ~Bill

-letting that driver in front of you go slow without pulling up to the side of him and swearing at him (actually...its usually a her).
-learning to slow it down once in a while in this fast paced society.
-just waiting for her to happen.
-expecting to be disappointed and growing on it.
-realizing how short life is and accepting what you are doing with life.
- finding a target "her" and realizing its still out of reach.
-hearing someone out before you panic
-taking a chance
-is life
- is reading this whole thing and adding your own instance of choice. 

Randy: dork
Auto response from Corey: Randy is a dork!
Randy: hey thats not cool I didnt even talk to you yet
Auto response from Corey: yes randy is still a dork 

Elena: poor canada
Randy: truer words have never been spoken 

Fighting for Peace is like Screwing for Virginity 

There is a priest, a rabbi, and a golf pro and they all come up to this lake. Priest goes, "Bless this lake", Rabbi goes Mimpf Minshkoosh Mincki which means, "Bless this lake". The golf pro walks up and goes, "Wheres my ball". And the lesson of this story, "The Devil took the ball and the lake". No really...there is still no point to this "joke".  ~Rob 

Randy: hey
Auto response from Anthony: off takin pic's of my cocker :-P 

There are 10 types of people in this world; those who understand binary, and those who do not.  ~Tim 

Don't criticize someone until You've walked a mile in their shoes, that way, when u criticize them you'll be a mile away and you'll have their shoes! 

if somebody washes that kid before the next class I'll give him a cookie. ~Lars Avrey 

freeman is becoming a non-exister. I say let it fly. it can't hurt us, only him.  ~Butch

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. my teammate wrote a class, I wrote a class.
they interacted but they didn't. I adapted and he didn't. I was right, he was wrong. I won he lost. ~Butch

Be careful in the winter this summer. ~Rachel 

my balls are like dynamite, wanna bang? ~Jeff

If she and I were the last two members of the human race, stranded on an island; I'd rather jizz in the ocean and hope to inseminate a fish than fuck her. ~Jeff 

Randy: Yeah they're gonna know we had a women navigator cause we're late.
Anthony: Yeah but they'll know she wasn't in the drivers seat cause we actually got here. 

jen from store 82: not that I have even come close to proving my thesis
jen from store 82: because I don't even understand my thesis 

did you hear about the new S-Box??? It's great. Even better than the real thing. Yep. Microsoft teamed up with Satan to create a hybrid video game system that will make you scream. The X-box hasn't been doing good and a new IMPROVED game system should change that statisic. I just saw a commerical yesterday for it and it was so funny. Satan was marketing it and had a little boy playing with a few of the games. Here's a few that I can remember. Satan vs. Jesus, Hitlers final solution, Angel wars, and my favorite Terrorist Air 666!!! All great titles that will make this the greatest game experience you'll ever see. Konard from Gamestop gave it 8 fingers up!!! He is preordering 3 of them. Stocking stuffers I guess. Well, thats about all. It's going to be HOT!!!  ~Butch

make sure the munchkins put some rocks in their pockets tomorrow, we don't want them blowing away. ~Liz

a true wise man does not play leap frog with a unicorn. ~Brian Wilson 

Randy: dork
MaryBeth: am i giving you a huge.......?!
Randy: ?
MaryBeth: lolllllllll
MaryBeth: wrong screen!!!!!! 

Randy: so what the hell do you want anyway?
Liz: I want you to lick Brian's foot
Liz: that what I want 

They call 'em fingers but I never see 'em fing
...oh there they go 

My chaps are lipped. ~Rachel 

Yeah...perhaps...I don't think so... I don't know. ~Randy 

Partying without you 2 (Randy & Brian) is like sex without the ass slapping. ~Tim H 

Vick doesn't do sex. ~Jezebel

2 Vanu have entered the continent.  Get em! ~Jezebel

Isn't green not the enemy? ~MaxRobesPierre 

Fuck! That fucker fucking killed me! Shit fuck! Shit! ~Sm00ve 

Who's crotch is on Fire? ~Jezebel

Everyone head to Orisha.  We should shoot at it or something. ~Jezebel

Eating a Wegmans Cream filled donut is like an orgasm in your mouth. ~Brian Sams

Reject a woman and she will never let it go.  One of the many defects of their kind.  Also, weak arms.
~Dwight K Schrute

To die is poignantly bitter, but the idea of having to die without having lived is unbearable. ~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow. 

Those who would give up essential liberty, to purchase a little temporary safety,  deserve neither liberty nor safety.  ~Ben Franklin

Just because it did not take you where you wanted to go does not mean that the journey wasn't good for you 

We do not inherit the earth from our ancestors; we borrow it from our children. - Haida Proverb 

Dream as if you'll live forever, Live as if you'll die tomorrow 

a crooked man walks a straight path
a path of hopes and dreams.
he walks ahead without looking back,
without thinking twice or so it seems.
as he walks the path he proceeds to
his final destination without once falling 
through. yet as he completes his journey, 
this voyage of his, he knows the importance 
was not the things he didn't do, but the 
things he did.
~Randy Miller 

The thing that drives us in life is coincidentally.. death. Without mortality, humanity would never strive to make things better for ourselves and more importantly for our children. ~Brian Wilson 

Success is a journey, not a destination

 For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul? (Matthew 16:26) 

You are not what you are born, but what you have it in yourself to be

The thing that matters most is how you see yourself

life is finite.  Once you figure that out all that's left is to decide how you want to go out,  On your feet or on your knees.