"Notes from the Fatosphere" via Fat O'Sphere
This was a dream dress, y’all! I saw this dress over two years ago for about three times the price I paid for it. When I first saw it I envisioned myself standing in front of a piano in a jazz club singing Betty Hutton songs. It could happen! Ahem! I let it go due to my financial struggles, and not yet being comfortable wearing dresses (Psshht!), but never forgot it’s beauty and how it inspired me. I watched it on eBay a couple of times, hoping for the ultimate bargain…but no dice. I’d nearly given up all hope on owning it when a couple of months ago, when I was in my full-on-Eshakti-addiction mode, I came across it again on this interesting web site: www.ChicStar.com
I bookmarked the dress the moment I saw it again. I couldn’t believe my eyes! How could it be the very same dress for such a reasonable price?! It seemed impossible to me somehow so I hesitated buying it for awhile. As December began and my NYE plans started to come into focus, I knew I needed something special and maybe this site was worth the risk. I do tend to be a bit of a risk taker when it comes to online deals. But I still wasn’t quite ready to buy the “dream dress” for some reason. I first placed my NYE dress in the cart online and then perused a bit more, always going back to the bookmark for the “dream dress.” Then I thought I might as well do a quick search for coupon codes or free shipping deals for the sight. This is when I embrace and love happenstance and all of it’s magic and wonder! You see, I not only found an amazing coupon code (I don’t even remember the actual discount, maybe 30%), but I ended up qualifying for free shipping, too if I added the “dream dress!” And so I did! And it ended up being so affordable I couldn’t believe my eyes!
When the dresses arrived though I worried. They were both too big in the bust! The price was so cheap though that I didn’t want to send them back. I got a size 28 in both dresses. I bit the bullet and went to a local tailor. I paid exactly the same amount for his services as I did for both dresses…but it was totally worth it! They now hug my bosom (or bazooms if you prefer) and I feel confident and fabulous in them (except or the elastic back on the “dream dress”, My beloved Raven pinned it for me just before Fatty Affair began so I wouldn’t have to worry about slippage)!
I also went ahead and ordered the black crinoline to go underneath, since they’d both look better with it. So glad I did! I love it, I love how it makes the dresses look and I am just so pleased with it all in general! My NYE dress started my year off right and with a bang! The “dream dress” was more than any jazz club could offer! They were both Dream Dresses and the entire experience was, too! I mean, I hadn’t worn dresses happily or comfortably since high school! And now look at me? LOOK!!! Strapless! In public! Smiling! Laughing! Dancing! And having the time of my fucking life!!!
Oh yeah! The rest! Ha-ha! I am wearing my classic pearls from Shane Co. my husband bought me ages ago and one of my most treasured possessions. Also, winter length black teggings from ReDress. You all know how much I love my teggings, right? They are the perfect offspring of tights and leggings…No chub-rub!!! And the winter length are a bit thicker/sturdier so perfect for winder or colder days. My shoes?! Oh my beloved Doc Marten’s! I love my wingtips! I wear them mostly for special occasions, but also when I want a touch of sass in my style! I always get complimented on them. They are fairly comfortable, though not the best for support on long days. Docs are like that, no worries. I got these babies on eBay for $35 a few years ago. Another of my treasured possessions. Though few they are precious to me. And my hair feathers are from Ross (Dress for Less).
I had originally planned an entirely different hair do. Then I saw these feathers! The colors were perfect! They are on a comb and cost $7.99. A bit more than I would typically spend on such a thingy of curiosity, but so glad that I did. Everyone loved them! I loved them! They added that extra pizzazz you need when you have nothing on your shoulders. I still had another hair do in mind, but after my initial 80% blow dry my husband said how much he loved the natural flip my hair was doing and so I just fucking went with it! No hairspray or nothin’! Just shoved that comb in, pinned it in place and walked out the damned door! Okay, not really…I spent over an hour on my eye liner and nearly freaked out about it big time. Stress! What can ya do? Ha-ha!
It all worked out for the best. I got so many genuine compliments that I will be floating on air for weeks! Fatty Affair was a dream come true in so many ways. It is so sad to me that it’s over now, but I am looking forward to seeing everyone’s pictures and hearing their awesome stories. Everything I’ve seen so far has been just delightful! Except for the moment face book decided to block me from my account for using a “fake name!” Ugh! Don’t get me started…
Thanks for reading…more to come! <3
As of January 2012 this blog has been renamed from Communications of a Fat Waitress to Fat Body Politics for a few reasons. The simplest is that I am no longer a waitress, and the larger picture is that this blog is more about the politics of living in a fat body or being a fat person that it has ever been about myself. I want to expand past my own experience.
Very soon Love Your Body Detroit will be found at loveyourbodydetroit.com, until then catch up with us at our facebook (Linked above). I will also be blogging via tumblr at FatBodyPolitics.tumblr.com.
-Amanda-
Over 6 years ago I started this blog. With that has come my own personal growth into fat rights as an activist and with me founding Love Your Body Detroit. While the posting schedule has been chaotic at best this has been the place where I was able to unleash my thoughts and ideas about the movement. This blog is going to be in transition over the next few days as I am changing the name and reorganizing my web presence. Love Your Body Detroit is going to have its own website as soon as possible, which means the current tumblr account will be connected with this blog, my twitter account will change names as well.
If you are a reader of this blog, it isn’t going anywhere and I am not either. I want a name that I feel fits my mindset as I have taken a drastically different direction in my life over the past few years. If you want to make sure you continue to get updates, subscribe on the right. Everything goes live by Monday, possibly sooner.
-Amanda-
Over the past few days Marilyn Wann has been creating posters of different fat activists to respond to Georgia’s Strong4Life campaign. They are amazing and everyone photographed has chosen their own tagline to go with each poster.
From her tumblr she wrote,
Stand4Kids
Here’s my response to the fat-hating ads in Georgia. Please reblog! I want the world to know that I stand up to weight bullies!
If you want to Stand4Kids too, send me your photo and we’ll create an ad about what you STAND for, so you can tell the world. ALSO:Join the Facebook group, here, and learn about the project to buy a real billboard in Georgia!
https://www.facebook.com/groups/344255848935079/
Made by Ragen Chastain from Dance with Fat (More info about the video at the link). A response to the Australian Biggest Loser ad campaign. To view the original video click here, but should come with a trigger warning. Happy I was able to be involved with this video.
Be sure to register and check out the Body Love Revolutionaries Telesummit that starts on January 31st with Marilyn Wann, Peggy Howell and me talking about activism. It is going to be amazing. For more information about the summit, how to register and about all of the speakers go to http://www.bodyloverevolution.com/
Also check out the facebook event page.
Here is the complete schedule!
Activism — Tuesday, January 31st at 8PM EST with Peggy Howell (NAAFA), Amanda Levitt (Love Your Body Detroit), Marilyn Wann (Fat!So?)
Health — Thursday, February 2nd at 7PM EST with Linda Bacon (Health At Every Size book), Ragen Chastain (Dances With Fat)
Fatshion — Tuesday, February 7th at 8PM EST with Marie Denee (Curvy Fashionista) , Rachel Kacenjar (Cupcake & Cuddlebunny), Yuliya Raquel (Igigi)
Sex — Thursday, February 9th at 8PM EST with Hanne Blank (Big, Big Love), Virgie Tovar (Guide To Fat Girl Living)
Blogging —Thursday, February 16th at 8PM EST with Marianne Kirby (Lessons From The Fatosphere), Margitte Leah Kristjansson (Fat Body (In)Visible), and Brian Stuart (Red No. 3 Blog)
Fitness — Tuesday, February 21st at 8PM EST with Jeanette DePatie (The Fat Chick Works Out), Anna Guest-Jelley (Curvy Yoga)
Fatness/Queerness — Thursday, February 23rd at 3PM Eastern with Bevin Branlandingham (Queer Fat Femme), Charlotte Cooper (Obesity Timebomb), Jessica Jarchow (Tangled Up In Lace)
Politics/History — Tuesday February 28th at 8PM Eastern with Paul Campos (Obesity Myth), Amy Erdman Farrell (Fat Shame)
We often think of New Year’s Resolutions as a chance to make up or change the things we didn’t like about the year before. This is normally directed at ourselves since most resolutions focus on how we can change who we are by making ourselves better. Living in a body that you hate, due to your weight or any other reason that you want to change it, normally leads you to enter the New Year down a path filled with self destructive behaviors that in the end do more harm than good.
Learning to love ones self or have a healthier relationship with your body can be a really positive way to start the year if you are not doing it from a negative place. One of the best ways that this can be found if you find yourself wanting to diet is to do the exact opposite and ditch dieting. A health movement that has become part of the forefront of the fat rights movement is Health at Every Size. This is in so many ways one of the simplest ways to not only have a better connection with your body, especially if you have or still are suffering through disordered eating patterns or weight loss attempts. This is about finding that connection with your body that is lost during weight loss attempts that create an inner conflict between your body and your mind.
This was the last step that I needed to finding complete happiness within myself. Learning to listen to my body instead of listening to others about how I should take care of myself was the tipping point to finding what I was looking for. This means finding joy in moving my body, eating intuitively or listening to hunger cues and knowing what I need to nourish my body while feeling good living in it. This means having a connection that stops denying the body I live in.
Basic Principles of Health At Every Size®
- Accepting and respecting the diversity of body shapes and sizes.
- Recognizing that health and well-being are multi-dimensional and that they include physical, social, spiritual, occupational, emotional, and intellectual aspects.
- Promoting all aspects of health and well-being for people of all sizes.
- Promoting eating in a manner which balances individual nutritional needs, hunger, satiety, appetite, and pleasure.
- Promoting individually appropriate, enjoyable, life-enhancing physical activity, rather than exercise that is focused on a goal of weight loss.
From the Association for Size, Diversity and Health
Links
Health at Every Size by Dr. Linda Bacon
HAES Community – Local resources and more information
I have finally updated my Etsy for the holiday season. Use the coupon code FATWAITRESS until December 1st for 10% off everything. Support me paying my bills and get some awesome gifts. fworiginals.etsy.com
Watercolor Papercut Shadowbox – $18
Noro Multicolored Lace Scarf – $55
Also check out,
When I was 15 my parents started to get divorced. At 16 my mom and I moved out of the house after a pretty fucked up situation that made me respect her even more than I already did. To some it up, she threw herself to the wolves instead of letting me ruin my relationship with my dad. What also came out of that was she lost my brother. It has been 10 years since my brother stopped talking to my mom. It has been 6 years since he stopped talking to me and while the reasoning for why he stopped talking to her makes sense, even though he only knows half of the story and he wasn’t actually present like I was to see what actually happened. Why he stopped talking to me doesn’t.
The thing that frustrates me about this whole situation is that when he stopped talking to me, he cut himself off from my whole family on both sides. While a few family members on my dad’s side still see him every once and a while the vast majority only know what I do, and that’s nothing. Every holiday I now expect to be asked about him, to be told to keep trying, to tell me that it is up to me to bring him back.
In reality it isn’t.
My brother is an adult. If he wants to not have contact with his family that is his choice. If he doesn’t want to have contact with me that is his choice. It is also my choice whether or not I should put myself through the emotional mess of dealing with the fact that I have someone out there who shares the same DNA as me and wants nothing to do with me. I throw that box on the top shelf of my closet and hide it behind all of my other baggage.
I am often told that I should just contact him, write a letter every once and a while. This again ignores that I am doing all of the emotional output in this relationship. I care about my brother, I care that he is well, I care that he is happy but at what expense should I care about him when he has little regard for my own wellbeing?
If you know someone who is estranged from their sibling stop giving advice and just listen. You probably know very little about what actually happened. Shit I was involved and I still don’t know exactly why he stopped talking to me but I’m sick of sitting around and caring. If he comes back then he comes back, if he doesn’t well then he is missing out.
