Orlando shooting survivor Patience Carter, 20, spoke about her ordeal at Florida hospital in Orlando on Tuesday.
“The gunman entered the bathroom and was shooting his machine gun, so we are all like scrambling around in the bathroom, screaming at the top of our lungs when he was in there for the first time and then, you know, people are getting hit by bullets, like blood is everywhere and then there was a moment where he stopped shooting in the bathroom and that’s when everyone looked around and that’s when I first realized that my leg was shot …
There were several other people shot and bleeding in the bathroom. That’s when Akyra [Monet Murray], who didn’t make it, realized she was shot in her arm … and I’m not sure that was when Tiara also got shot in her thigh but … we were all pretty bad, at that point this is when we knew this wasn’t a game. This was real and this was something that was really happening to us right now.
It was a shock. We went from having the time of our lives to the worst night of our lives all within a matter of minutes.
Throughout that period of hours, the gunman was in there with us. He actually made a call to 911 from in there. Everybody could hear – who was in the bathroom, who survived. We could hear him talking to 911, saying that the reason why he’s doing this is because he wants America to stop bombing his country. From that conversation, from 911, he pledged allegiance to Isis, he started speaking in, I believe … after he get off the phone with 911, he started speaking in Arabic … at first I didn’t know what the language was. And after that, he even spoke to us directly in the bathroom. He said: ‘Are there any black people in here?’ I was too afraid to answer, but there was an African American male in the stall where most of my body was, where a majority of my body was, had answered and he said, ‘Yes, there are about six or seven of us,’ and the gunman responded back to him saying, ‘You know that I don’t have a problem with black people, this is about my country. You guys suffered enough.’
He made a statement saying it wasn’t about black people. This isn’t the reason why he was doing this. But through the conversation with 911, he said that the reason why he was doing this is that he wanted America to stop bombing his country. So, the motive was very clear to us who were laying in our own blood and other people’s blood, who were injured, who were shot. We knew what his motive was and that he wasn’t going to stop killing people until he was killed, until he felt like his message got out there.
And I could see piles of bodies laying over the toilet seat, and slumped over and the bottom of the toilet was just covered in handprints in blood. When I looked back the other way, I could see other people just piled behind me – just blood. Some were dead and some were just moaning in, like, pain. I looked across and I could see my best friend on the floor, Akyra, just looking lifeless. At that point, I was just like I really don’t think I am going to get out of here. You know, I made peace with God, within myself, I said: ‘You know, God, if this is time, if this is my time to go, if this is how I have to go, just please take me. I don’t want any more shots.’”
Carter also read a poem:
“The guilt of feeling grateful to be alive is heavy
Wanting to smile about surviving
But not sure if the people around you are ready
As the world mourns the victims killed
And viciously slain, I feel guilty
About screaming about my legs in pain
Because I could feel nothing like the other 49
Who weren’t so lucky to feel this pain of mine
I never thought in a million years
That this could happen
I never thought in a million years
That my eyes could witness something so tragic
Looking at the souls leaving the bodies of individuals
Looking at the killer’s machine gun throughout my right peripheral
Looking at the blood and debris covered on everyone’s faces
Looking at the gunman’s feet
Under the stall as he paces
The guilt of feeling lucky to be alive is heavy
It’s like the weight of the ocean’s walls
Crushing uncontrolled by levies
It’s like being dragged through the glass
With a shattered leg and thrown on the back of the Chevy
It’s like being rushed to the hospital
And told you’re going to make it
When you lay beside individuals
Whose lives were brutally taken
The guilt of being alive is heavy.”